38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The beer is more important than you right now.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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