He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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