So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
