Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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