Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
