I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
