We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
