Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
