I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
