jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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