Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
