Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
