I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
