I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
