plz talk dirty to me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
