I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
