Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
