and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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