he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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