I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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