Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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