discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you made out with another girl for some wings
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
