I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
