i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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