Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
