Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
