I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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