can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
