he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
