Just fell off a train. Bad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
