you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
