If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
