yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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