god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
