Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
