I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
