Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
