I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
