I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
