yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
