How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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