her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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