you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just forgot I was standing up.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
