check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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