is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
