I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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