She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
