It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
