She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
