all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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