it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
