What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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