she looked like the before picture.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
