If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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