If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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